Maxine Casson in Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976)
Ghostwords was written on October 12, 2005

The landlady's daughter

Robin Askwith is under siege both from landlady Liz Fraser and her daughter in this, the third in the "Confessions" cycle. No prizes for guessing Maxine Casson is the more attractive prospect, gracing us with full nudity before joining Askwith in a bizarre, speeded-up sex scene which underlines the fact that nothing was meant to be taken seriously in these movies. She appears to have retired from movies that same year, having also added The Bawdy Adventures of Tom Jones to her resume: a great pity.

Linda Hayden in Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)
Ghostwords was written on October 12, 2005

Lovely Linda

Already famous from her appearances in Baby Love and Blood on Satan's Claw, Linda Hayden makes the first of two appearances in the "Confessions" cycle here, as the young policewoman who finally lets her guard - and knickers - drop when window cleaner Robin Askwith reluctantly proposes marriage. Despite watching her strip naked and jump into bed with him, the poor chap is then too intimidated to take advantage! It's all too brief (Holiday Camp offers far more), but gets its third star from the fact that it's Ms Hayden.

Victoria Hamilton in Very Social Secretary, A (2005)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Hard to spot

Victoria Hamilton plays real-life magazine publisher Kimberly Quinn in this political satire, chosen as part of the launch night for UK digital channel More4. In bed with the then-Home Secretary, David Blunkett (Bernard Hughes), there is a brief shot where it's obvious we're seeing her breasts in shadow, but you'd need a NASA enhancement kit to get any real jollies out of this. Lucky old Bernard, though, even if he has got to pretend to be blind.

Gummi in Slick City: The Adventures of Lela Devin (2001)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Virtual S&M

Gummi plays Cindy, collaborator on a virtual reality progamme, who allows herself to be used for a demonstration run. We get a first-person view of Dita von Teese admiring Gummi's bare body, spanking her with a paddle as she hangs by her bound wrists, wearing just rubber panties. The scene is reprised later (without the paddle), when her wearing a ball gag. Finally, she's sold at a private aunction, still topless.

Dita Von Teese in Slick City: The Adventures of Lela Devin (2001)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Brief but worth it

Although there's little actual nudity from pin-up star Dita von Teese, she's surrounded by it in this fetishistic romp, set in the year 2011. After dripping wax onto her lover's bare breasts, occasionally licking them for good effect, von Teese's character Lela Devin takes the girl to a fetish club, where they watch a tall woman suspected to lengthy abuse (surprisingly, she's not mentioned in the castlist): fondled breasts, slapped buttocks, pussy squeezed, bottom exposed and whipped, breasts exposed and slapped, nipped pinched, pussy exposed and whipped, nipples clamped. Lela herself is later kidnapped and awakens chained to a bed, topless; her breasts are stroked by her (female) captor, but are sadly covered again for the subsequent slave auction, although her rubber undies sport a circular hole at the front which stops millimetres short of exposing her pussy. Definitely one for the collectors of kink.

Dita Von Teese in Slick City: The Adventures of Lela Devin (2001)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Damn my typing

The phrase above should, of course, read "nipples pinched". Given that this anonymous performer goes further than anyone else in the movie, it's astonishing she wasn't given a credit.

Sam Heuston in Big Brother (2000)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

It's Sam *Houston*

Very pretty girl, and many of us groaned when she was booted out. Power of the female vote, I guess.

Orlaith McAllister in Big Brother (2000)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Let down by inflation

By bringing her in secretly and forcing her to sneak off to the showers in the early hours, we were guaranteed a nude glimpse or three of professional model Orlaith. Her breasts continued to make regular breaks for freedom once she entered the house proper, but the fact that they weren't natural loses her at least one star.

Kinga Karokzak in Big Brother (2000)
Ghostwords was written on October 10, 2005

Dreadful attention seeker

Arguably the most damaged person ever to enter the UK Big Brother: attention seeking to the point of needing psychiatric attention, continually whipping her breasts out in a vain attempt to divert from her infantile grasp of reality. Plus, anyone who pleasures herself with a wine bottom in full view of the other housemates (later denials weren't convincing) is just plain desparate. Made Jade Goody look like Mary Poppins.

Liza Goddard in Ooh, You Are Awful (1974)
Ghostwords was written on October 9, 2005

Wobbly

Comic actress Liza Goddard, at various points married to both Dr Who actor Colin Baker and retro pop star Alvin Stardust, plays one of several ex-girlfriends of a deceased conman. His partner, played by the increasing unfunny Dick Emery, needs to find out the numbers tattooed on each girl's bottom to get the complete password for the bank account where their last haul was stashed. Ms Goddard is seen entering her bedroom, turning away from the camera, dropping her robe and stepping onto a small platform before slipping on a massage belt. There is a brief close-up on her buttocks, but the vibration makes it difficult to see anything clearly (which is the sole joke of the scene, as Emery is perched outside on a stepladder, viewing her with his binoculars). To be frank, this only gets its one star because of the actress's later familiarity on UK tv (by which time she also appears to have lost a lot of weight). Essentially, this was little more than a vehicle for the "comic" characters from Emery's 1970s BBC sketch shows (toothy vicar, aged butler, sexually frustrated spinster, camp homosexual, skinhead), with a (very) little added nudity to boost its chances at the box office. The film was retitled Get Charlie Tully for the US market, as the UK title was one of the catchphrases on the BBC show but would have little currency elsewhere.

Linnea Quigley in Return of the Living Dead (1993)
Ghostwords was written on October 4, 2005

Merkin?

I have to agree with BushLeague: I recall freezing the video and spotting something odd during the striptease/dance. If I can lay my hands on a decent dvd print, we may be able to solve the query once and for all.

Nirvana Daze in Crysis (1993)
Ghostwords was written on September 29, 2005

After Sex

As he is standing directly behind Tracy Navin at the beginning of the sex scene, only the side of Nirvana's body can be seen. However, when it's over and she leaves the bedroom, the camera pans down to show full nudity whilst he relaxes on the bed. (Nirvana was also associate producer on this short, and joined director Steve Ellis on stage when it was shown at Wincon III.)

Janet Eilber in Columbo: Grand Deceptions (1989)
Ghostwords was written on September 25, 2005

Subliminal flash?

In this 1989 telemovie directed by Sam Wanamaker, Janet Eilber plays an ex-general's wife who's having an affair with Robert Foxworth. One early scene has him lying on his back in bed, with her lying face down, head against his exposed chest. As she shifts position, with the camera aimed down the bed, this is a split second view of (minimal) cleavage and what could be her right nipple. Without recourse to dvd or an extremely good video copy, however, we may have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Monique Van De Ven in Turkish Delight (1973)
Ghostwords was written on September 24, 2005

Nude debut

Making her movie debut, Monique van de Ven appears alergic to clothing for most of this film, slipping her knickers off at pretty much every opportunity. And yes, she's very much a natural redhead.

Rutger Hauer in Turks fruit (1973)
Ghostwords was written on September 24, 2005

Artistic Licentiousness

Hauer is naked throughout this movie, also known as Turkish Delight (which confusingly has a separate entry and release date on this database) and Wild Intent. His best scenes are with Monique van de Ven. Director Paul Verhoeven certainly has no gender bias when shooting nudity.

Alyssa Milano in Embrace of the Vampire (1995)
Ghostwords was written on September 24, 2005

Photography

Without doubt the most erotic scene in the movie, Alyssa's sequence in Charlotte Lewis' studio offers real sexual tension and leaves the viewer begging for more. Worth renting the dvd just for that.

Lorraine Peters in Wicker Man, The (1973)
Ghostwords was written on September 18, 2005

Willow's Song

Lorraine Peters doubled for Britt Ekland during the famous sequence where the landlord's daughter, Willow, attempts to entice Sgt Howie (Edward Woodward) into her bed. As well as stepping in during the rear-view shots of Willow's dance, Lorraine also has a brief nude scene as "Girl on Grave". The film's Associate Music Director, Gary Carpenter, recalled nearly thirty years later that filming coincided with her period, but the angle of the shot prohibited use of a tampon: "Consequently, and despite the best efforts of the crew to swab up after each take, DNA evidence probably survives at the location to this day!" TMI, Gary. (He added that another actress, Jane Johnson, has stated she was Britt's body double: "I would venture to guess that her footage now resides safely in someone's private collection!")

Britt Ekland in Wicker Man, The (1973)
Ghostwords was written on September 18, 2005

Willow's Song

As detailed separately in the entry for Lorraine Peters, it's her body you can see in the rear shots, and Britt Ekland's when the camera shows Willow from the waist up. The tales of on-set subterfuge to avoid upsetting Britt (who was pregnant at the time) aren't entirely true, according to Gary Carpenter (see other entry), since notes advising the use of a body double were distributed to all cast and crew (although Britt's inclusion appears to have been accidental). Her voice is also doubled, by Rachel Verney.

Gloria Maley in Satan's Slave (1976)
Ghostwords was written on September 7, 2005

Opening sex/murder

Several versions of the initial sequence were photographed, as was usual in the period. The UK version sticks with nudity; the "continental" release features shots of a pair of scissors traced over a breast and pausing briefly by a nipple. The former is preferred by director Norman J Warren.

Kari Wuhrer in Vivid (1999)
Ghostwords was written on September 7, 2005

One last position?

Kari Wuhrer is both gorgeous and generous with the amount of nudity in this movie, which is chiefly viewable for her involvement. However, it's memorable for the hilarious sequence in which she reluctantly agrees to try anal sex to assist her painter boyfriend with his latest creation. Arse for art's sake, you might say.

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